The Success Sacrifice.

I think there is a lot of pressure on twenty something year olds to have it all figured out. We have the media telling us we are useless, the worst employees to date etc, we have people younger than us, those in their teens who are making millions and creating amazing apps and then we open our newsfeed and we see our friends and acquaintances travelling the world, getting married, starting families or rising up the career ladder. And then we look towards ourself and wonder what we have achieved. Have we even achieved anything? Am I not supposed to be a multimillionaire right now? Am I not supposed to be madly in love with the person I am going to spend forever with right now? Should I have not travelled the entire globe by now? What am I doing with my life?

Relax. Take a deep breath. Take a few more deep breathes. Now read this.

Everyone has their own timelines for success. And everyone has their own definition of success. Some people I went to university with will be fully qualified fledging lawyers before 25, while others will have married and had kids, while others will have travelled to a few countries. Some people will work 70 hour weeks and will become partner by 45 but may not have children, might never be home to see their partner, might not get the time to travel the globe, might retire by 60 and get to see the world. Others might postpone their professional careers and travel the globe, see the northern lights, eat pizza in Naples, dance in the Monsoon rains in India and enter the corporate world at 28, a few years behind others, forever perhaps playing catchup.

Every success requires sacrifice. If you want to become a CEO, no matter what, you are going to have to sacrifice some aspect of your life. You will not make it to every single one of your child’s recitals, you may not make every single meeting, you may not make every training session, every date night or see every country in the world. But you will make the ones that are important.

And thats the thing, to be great, to be an expert, you need to cut other elements out of your life. Figure out your priorities and eliminate anything which is not a priority. For example: when I was studying for my final law exams, I cut out socialising and sport for a year as those were not priorities. What were priorities? Study, sleep and my mom. That is where my time went, if I was not studying, I was sleeping. If I had time off from university, I was at home with my mom. Those were my priorities. And that is how I came out with a first class honours in law as I knew what my priorities were.

Now, that university is over, my priorities have shifted. The things I want to achieve in life are different. This brings me to my second point. Your priorities or the things you expend your energy on, don’t always have to be the same things. As soon as a priority is not bringing you happiness or a sense of achievement, reevaluate and change it. For example, health and fitness has been a massive priority for me the last couple of months. This meant I was eating clean and getting up before work to gym. Now, between being sick and in bed for the last week and getting on a flight to South Africa to spend two weeks with family, my priorities are shifting. I will be focusing more on family time and less on fitness and health. I will still be keeping myself accountable but will not be doing intense gym sessions, simply for the reason that if I stand up I feel like fainting, and due to possible time constraints.

What to take from this article: figure out your priorities, time is limited so you only have so much time you can expend. Make sure your time is going to a worthwhile place. Secondly, your priorities are not set in stone and can shift. Just because you make something a priority or a goal, does not mean it always has to be, as soon as you don’t feel a burning passion for that goal or it does not make you happy anymore, reevaluate it and change it if required. 

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Discovering yourself: Who am I

More often then not, we let other people define ourselves. Before we are able to form our own idea of who we are, we are told. This is why it it is so important to define yourself in order to achieve the life you want.

Today’s exercise to help you discover your true authentic self is to fill in the blank: I am _______

Write down, without consciously thinking, what you are. Are you a lawyer, a mom, a student, a friend, tired of life, bored, interested, ambitious etc. Look at these words and decide, do these words/labels correspond to the life you want to live, to the goals you wish to achieve?

 

Overwhelming

This prompt came up in my feed and it got me thinking about being overwhelmed and why those in their twenties are so overwhelmed.

Feeling overwhelmed is a natural human emotion. I think especially in our younger years, we have less experience, less of an idea of what we want to do in life, but on the other hand all these options of what we could do in life.

Your twenties are overwhelming. Most of the major life-decisions are made before someone hits thirty. By the age of thirty, most people have moved out of home, are in a serious relationship with or even living with their (future) partner, are settled in a career path etc. That can be all very overwhelming. If you fuck up your twenties, you are going to forever be playing catch-up. What job to pick and what person to date? Your answer to these questions will set in motion your life for forty plus decades. And that my friends is the truth. Choose carefully, because your twenties define your life. 

No pressure.

via Daily Prompt: Overwhelming

Goal in life.

This picture is my end goal in life. I want to be on my deathbed surrounded by people who love me and thinking ‘wow, that was fun. I am tired’.

This might sound grim and morbid thinking about my own death but  one thing everyone needs to remember is that the only thing in life that is guaranteed is death. We will all die. Everything else is a choice. And my choice is to live the best fucking life possible and to fill it with as many fun memories as possible.

Remember this, everything you do is a choice. And the only thing that is guaranteed is death. It is up to you, between now and then, to decide how the fuck you going to live it. 

3 ways to get motivated to achieve your goals

Motivation is what gets us going in the morning. Motivation is what starts us on the path to our goals. In short motivation can be a very powerful tool to have in order to get started on that goal, improve on that goal and sustain your efforts to reach that goal.

Below are 3 ways to get motivated

  1. Write a vision for yourself

Take a piece of paper and a pen and start writing about how you want your life to look like a year from now. Try to associate as many feelings and engage as many senses as possible in this vision

Here is an excerpt out of my vision:

I want to be more open-minded and expand my interests. I want to read more, see more, experience more, feel more and do more. I want to feel as though I am alive not that I am just living.

Having a vision serves two purposes:

(a) It can provide an idea of what goals you want to achieve

(b) You can reread it and remember why you have the goals you have.

Part A I will get back to later when I write a goal on writing a vision.

Part B is about the motivation. I read this above and it reminds me why I want to read every night, (and not just watch Netflix), or why I want to go to more museums (and not just watch Netflix) or why I want to meet up with acquaintances (and again not just watch Netflix).

So as you can see, having a vision written down that you can read every day is a powerful way of increasing your motivation.

2. Write down your main three goals daily

I am a big believer in goal setting. Not only do I get very excited the first of January, but I get excited the first of every month, as I get to sit down and reevaluate my goals. However, if you do not reflect often enough on your goals, the desire to pursue them can be forgotten.

Therefore, I suggest every day, jotting down quickly your three main goals. This will start the wheels in your mind turning allowing you to see the steps that need to be taken to achieve these goals.

For example, my goals today are:

1. Take concrete steps towards side-hustle

2. Have fun/new experiences

3. Workout more often

Having this written down, both subconsciously and consciously, I plan to achieve these goals. For example:

1. Take concrete steps towards side-hustle: Write blog post and read a chapter of book on self-development

2. Have fun/new experiences: Going out tonight on pub-crawl with new friends

3. Workout more often: Going to the gym or go spinning

Just by writing down these goals, I have already structured my day to achieve these goals.

3. Listen to motivational Youtube videos

I think YouTube is one of the best sources for self-development and motivation. There is a niche area on Youtube of motivational videos set to videos. Yes. It is cringy. I am not going to lie, but it is incredible the effect this can have on your daily life simply by having this in the background when you are getting ready in the morning or listening it on your commute to work/university/school etc.

Give this video a go and listen to it while you get ready. 35 minutes of motivation.

 

 

Try these three strategies and see your life transform.