Growing up: The realisation you are an adult

This moment may come as a startling realisation to some or as a series of small realisations to others. To me, it was a mixture of the both. Moving out of home into my student residence, I had the realisation that I was growing up, moving to a foreign country – growing up, becoming financial responsible for myself – growing up, booking my first doctor’s appointment –growing up, getting my first ‘real adult job’ –growing up. 

But today, I was faced with the realisation that I am now actually an adult. No quotes around the word adult, no use of the verb ‘adulting’ which I aways used to suggest that this was a temporary phase, I was not an adult, I was just currently being an adult for the purpose at hand. But today, I realised, I am an adult.

This realisation came to me today as I was in my bed, off from work sick and I got a phone call from a headhunter asking me if I was interested in a new job. For this job, I would be paid significantly more, would be using my linguistic as well as legal skills but would be required to relocate leaving a city I love and a job with a very good law firm. When I got off the phone, I thought of who should I ask for advice? And that is when I realised, this is my decision. No matter what anyone says, this is my life and it is up to me to take full responsibility for it. And that my friends, is being an adult. Having the freedom to do exactly what you want, but also having to take all the shit that comes along with it.

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The treadmill of life

I feel like I am stuck. Stuck on this treadmill of life. The alarm goes off. I get up. I get dressed into my black work clothes. I eat my breakfast. I walk to work. I am in work from 9-6. I leave work. I go home. Plans to meet up with friends forgotten. Plans to go to the gym long forgotten. Far too tired. I make dinner. I watch some Netflix. I wash my face and teeth. I get into bed. I check my Facebook for the tenth time that hour. I look at other people’s lives envious of them. I turn off the light. I go to sleep. The alarm goes off and it starts again. Every day.

I cannot live this life for the next forty years.

 

 

Overwhelming

This prompt came up in my feed and it got me thinking about being overwhelmed and why those in their twenties are so overwhelmed.

Feeling overwhelmed is a natural human emotion. I think especially in our younger years, we have less experience, less of an idea of what we want to do in life, but on the other hand all these options of what we could do in life.

Your twenties are overwhelming. Most of the major life-decisions are made before someone hits thirty. By the age of thirty, most people have moved out of home, are in a serious relationship with or even living with their (future) partner, are settled in a career path etc. That can be all very overwhelming. If you fuck up your twenties, you are going to forever be playing catch-up. What job to pick and what person to date? Your answer to these questions will set in motion your life for forty plus decades. And that my friends is the truth. Choose carefully, because your twenties define your life. 

No pressure.

via Daily Prompt: Overwhelming

The importance of having clear vision

The most fundamental ingredient to success is having  clear vision. A crystal clear vision. Without this clear and precise vision, you are going nowhere. You could be the most capable, motivated, intelligent person in the world, but without a clear vision of what you want in life, you are never going to get to that point.

Think of it like this: the most experienced pilot with the best plane is not going to get to Mozambique without a map, he might make it to that area there eventually by flying around the world for a few days, but without the location or end point, he will not make it to the precise place he wants to be.

Whereas take the pilot who has the map, he knows where he is going, he knows that he is going to have to fly down along the east coast of Africa and therefore he will get to his location quickly and easily.

Once you know exactly what you want out of life, you can then map out a path from Point A (where you are) to Point B (where you want to be).

For example: I want to have a great body like the below. tumblr_n42iakaiVt1s1x0cvo1_540.jpg

This is my  vision. It is clear. And having a clear vision allows me to make a plan in order to get from point A (my current body shape) to point B (my vision). I know to get this body, I have to go to the gym, I have to eat healthily, I have to make sure I get enough sleep etc. These are my action steps in order to achieve the vision I have.

The take-away of this post is that without a crystal clear vision, you will never get where you want to be. As the above quote says: Decide what you want (your vision). Write it down. Make a plan. And work on it every single day. 

 

Goal in life.

This picture is my end goal in life. I want to be on my deathbed surrounded by people who love me and thinking ‘wow, that was fun. I am tired’.

This might sound grim and morbid thinking about my own death but  one thing everyone needs to remember is that the only thing in life that is guaranteed is death. We will all die. Everything else is a choice. And my choice is to live the best fucking life possible and to fill it with as many fun memories as possible.

Remember this, everything you do is a choice. And the only thing that is guaranteed is death. It is up to you, between now and then, to decide how the fuck you going to live it. 

Working out: making it stick

Every year, you put it down on your to do list. Go to the gym, workout more, go to more spinning classes, start running etc and we get excited and we see all the people in the gym. But as the weeks go by, we see less and less people going. The once exceptionally busy gym becomes quiet again, the early rise and grind becomes sleep and snooze. That motivation disappears and once again you are back to square one. No change.

So how to make it stick. How are you going to keep this new year’s resolution when you are tired and its raining and the last thing you want to do is go for a run or go to the gym.

Well, there are many ways, but in this blog post, I am going to focus on one of many. And that is develop a love for sport. Crazy I know. But this is all linked into the push and pull of motivation. When you are trying to muster up the motivation to go for a run, instead of thinking ‘I have to go for a run otherwise I am never going to lose this weight and I am going to be fat forever’ think ‘I want to go for a run because I love the feeling of the wind in my hair, I love the feeling of being free as I run, I love the feeling of my legs working to carry me, I love the feeling of the release of the endorphins (those happy hormone).’

This change in mindset will not only (a) associate positive feelings towards working out but will also (b) create a sustainable change by making sport an enjoyable thing. Why the latter will help is as follows, if your sole source of motivation for working out is ‘oh I look fat and terrible and I need to get in shape’, what is going to happen when you do get in shape? What is your motivation going to be then. This is why so many people regain all the weight they have lost. Once you have your dream body, the motivation to work out is no longer there. But, if you create other reasons for working out that is not relating to your physical appearance, you will find that exercise no longer becomes a chore, but something enjoyable.

 

So in a sentence: Have positive and sustainable reasons for working out such as the release of endorphins rather than negative and unsuitable reasons such as losing weight. 

Why I started this blog

I want to empower people to live the best lives that they can. This blog will contain tips and tricks on how to better your life and achieve the goals you want to achieve.

It will be focused on developing a skill set that will help you get the results you want in life.