Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith

Life is for living. I want to live the life that when I am on my deathbed, I will have no regrets. No what-ifs. No if only’s. None of that. But sometimes you get scared. You want to settle. Settle into normal life. Be complacent.

And last week I had that moment. Last Thursday I got a phone-call offering me a job back in Dublin (where I am from) with a good enough firm doing a good enough job. And how did I react. Well I was happy that I had options, but the thought of taking the job made me want to die inside. The security made me happy. The thought of returning to Dublin and finding an apartment and living there for the rest of my life made me want to give up on my life. But what other choice did I have? I had no job. No place to live. Nothing.

And then I rang my brother and told him the news. He was happy but (obviously sensing my lack of enthusiasm) asked me if this is what I really wanted? Was this my dream? And hell no. I knew it wasn’t my dream. But aren’t grown ups supposed to stop chasing their dreams? Aren’t we supposed to settle? Realise that that is what our dreams were. Simply dreams?

I told him what I thought my dream was – to work in an NGO. To do something good. As cringey as it sounds to make a difference. And you know what he told me to go for it.

Why go for it? Well I am in the lucky position that I am still rather young and have zero responsibilities (bar myself). I have no student debt, no loans, no accommodation, no significant other, no job. I have just me. And I can do anything and go anywhere (within reason, my family would probably not be too fond of me leaving Europe). But essentially I am free to do as I wish as long as I can afford it.

So with this in mind, I decided I was moving to Brussels. The city which has the work I want to pursue. The city that is saturated with NGO’s. And with this goal in mind. I booked my flights, found a part-time internship, found possible employment with a pub, and have a place sorted to live. Is it going to be easy? No probably not. Is it going to be worth it? I hope so. But I know one thing for sure. If I don’t see this dream through, or even see if there is a possibility of this dream working, I will regret it on my deathbed.

Sometimes you just have to take the plunge and dive in.

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What is the point of life?

This is a question that I am constantly trying to find the answer to. And yet time and time again fail. The amount of times I have questioned friends on it, turned to Google for answers and multiple self-help books. And the response I have summed up is there is none.

It is up to you to give your life a point. 

If it is up to us to give life a point then why are we getting stressed up about all the small bullshit that hassles our life. Why aren’t we living life exactly as we wish? In the end, am I going to care whether I got the law credentials or not. Probably not, as long as I had sufficient amount of money to live the life I wanted and made a difference, I do not really care if I get my law credentials.

Why do we keep on pushing ourselves to live this ideal life. Keep on pushing ourselves into this rat race which is making us sick and tired and stressed. This life where you wake up every morning not wanting to get up, not wanting to move, praying for the day to be almost over so you can just get back into bed. Why don’t we instead rejoice when we get up and celebrate the fact that life is so goddamn precious. 

We all get obsessed with money. Making money our God. And along with that security. Craving the security. Living life inside a box, never venturing out of the box, because god help if you stray from the path. BECAUSE IF YOU STRAY everyone will be able to laugh at you if you fail, and if you don’t fail, people won’t like you as you have proved all their limitations and excuses invalid.

STRAY FROM THE PATH. I urge you, especially if you are young and healthy, stray. Make mistakes. Fuck up. That is the point of life. Life is not there to play it safe. Life is there to make mistakes and learn from them. The definition of failure is allowing fear to dictate all your actions. GET OVER THE FEAR. Life is scary. Get used to it and embrace it.

So stop sitting in your box living your customised by other people life and make your life yours. Give your life a point.