What is the point of life?

This is a question that I am constantly trying to find the answer to. And yet time and time again fail. The amount of times I have questioned friends on it, turned to Google for answers and multiple self-help books. And the response I have summed up is there is none.

It is up to you to give your life a point. 

If it is up to us to give life a point then why are we getting stressed up about all the small bullshit that hassles our life. Why aren’t we living life exactly as we wish? In the end, am I going to care whether I got the law credentials or not. Probably not, as long as I had sufficient amount of money to live the life I wanted and made a difference, I do not really care if I get my law credentials.

Why do we keep on pushing ourselves to live this ideal life. Keep on pushing ourselves into this rat race which is making us sick and tired and stressed. This life where you wake up every morning not wanting to get up, not wanting to move, praying for the day to be almost over so you can just get back into bed. Why don’t we instead rejoice when we get up and celebrate the fact that life is so goddamn precious. 

We all get obsessed with money. Making money our God. And along with that security. Craving the security. Living life inside a box, never venturing out of the box, because god help if you stray from the path. BECAUSE IF YOU STRAY everyone will be able to laugh at you if you fail, and if you don’t fail, people won’t like you as you have proved all their limitations and excuses invalid.

STRAY FROM THE PATH. I urge you, especially if you are young and healthy, stray. Make mistakes. Fuck up. That is the point of life. Life is not there to play it safe. Life is there to make mistakes and learn from them. The definition of failure is allowing fear to dictate all your actions. GET OVER THE FEAR. Life is scary. Get used to it and embrace it.

So stop sitting in your box living your customised by other people life and make your life yours. Give your life a point.

How to small talk: FORD

No I am not talking about the car, I am talking about the perfect technique to make small talk: FORD. Each letter stands for a topic of conversation you can have with a new person.

F: Stands for family. It is recommended to ask people about their family, however, I might be unusual in this regard, but I would be uncomfortable if a brand new stranger asked about my family life. I think family can definitely be brought into small talk but in a general way by referencing your own family. This will encourage others to talk about their family if they so wish. For example I could be engaging someone in conversation, and we both see an Audi, and I could say something like ‘Oh I love Audis, my brother has one and since then I am obsessed’. This allows people to feel comfortable bringing up their own family members, rather than a question of ‘where do your parents live?’ which given the person might be awkward, as perhaps their parents are divorced, perhaps they don’t get on with their parents or perhaps their parents are dead. Therefore, I would put caution on this topic and use family as small talk fodder by introducing the topic of your own family and see how the other person reacts.

 

2. O: Stands for occupation. This is particularly useful in a work setting. You can talk to anyone about their job when you are at work. What do you do? Any advice for this? What area do you like? How did you get into that area? etc. I would generally stay away from this strand of conversation however when I am out at night as I feel it’s a rather boring start to a conversation in a club/pub as it’s the wrong setting. However in the right setting, being a workplace, it is a perfect way to develop small talk.

 

3. R: Stands for recreation: This is perhaps my favourite thing to talk to people about. I love to know about peoples’ passions and what lights them up – this all falls under recreation. I like to ask questions like ‘if you wake up anywhere in the world where would it be’, ‘what are your hobbies’; whats an ideal Sunday for you etc. This conversation works very well in clubs and pubs where people are very open to discussion.

4. D stands for dreams: I feel this links in very well to the above topic. Asking people what their dreams are in life. What they want from it. What are their priorities in life? Where do they see themselves in ten years time?

 

There are four categories of discussion to start a conversation going. So in order to keep it going (a) ask follow-up questions and (b) relate your own experiences. Remember this is a conversation not an interrogation. So for example, perhaps the person mentions that they were on holiday recently in Greece. You could follow-up by saying one of the following:

(a) Greece, wow I was there a few years ago. I stayed on this tiny little island where there was barely any English speakers. It was amazing. Where were you staying? You see here not only do you relate your own experience but you also have a follow-up question to provoke further conversation.

(b) Greece, oh I have been dreaming of going there for years ever since I saw Mama Mia. Where would you recommend is the best place to visit there? This allows the person to follow-up with telling you their own experience and also opens the opportunity to converse about movies. 

(c) Greece, that seems such an amazing place. There is a little greek restaurant on x street that I used to love going to. I love mezzo platters. This again allows the person to follow-up talking about their food experience in Greece or about food in general – etc ‘Oh I like Greek food, but I got to say, Italians know good food. I love a good pasta.

So now you see how you can develop a conversation. And if all else fails and these topics do not spark a conversation, there is always the weather. No one can resist commenting on the weather especially in Ireland.

 

Let me know in the comment section below if you have any suggestions of how to make small talk.